May 23rd, 2009

Apollo 4 on column of fire

Duh">PM Carpenter: But the GOP went and put Newt Gingrich in charge of the general attack, whose ultimate goal – "Pelosi's ouster" – is now being described as quixotically "unattainable."

Put that way, the situation truly brings out the ‘Duh!’ from my bag of mockeries, for was it not Newt Gingrich who led the attempt to make Bill Clinton resign the presidency, with no effect except to interfere with the operation of government and get Mr. Clinton uninterestingly disbarred? What an idiot this Gingrich is. He even had to shop around the country to find a district to move to that would be dumb enough to elect him, and even then he had to work at it, and it ended up he who resigned in disgrace. Yet here they come to him and let him lead a charge? What poop-for-brains these Republicans are.
Apollo 4 on column of fire

Mancow gets waterboarded

See for the half-ass, comfy-chair waterboarding that got this guy to scream for his mama after six seconds.

Personally I think he lasted a long time. I imagine it is more similar to the condition where reflux from the belly causes a reflexive shutdown of the breathing passages, and less similar to choking on a piece of fat. In my little life experience, the former is the more memorable (even if much less dangerous) affair, causing an instant urge to stick the head up as high as possible. It occurs to me as I write this that that urge may be related to defense from drowning.

(As for choking, be very, very careful when eating pot roast. Chicken bones do get lodged in the throat and have to be removed, but choking to death is more likely with a lump of fat.)
Apollo 4 on column of fire

It makes sense

When I was sitting at the ballpark, it occurred to me why it might be that restoring breathing seems to require first getting the head as high as possible, after breathing has been shut down due to stuff you shouldn’t have eaten before bed not wanting to stay down. This makes perfect sense as a reaction to drowning – that the organism will not start breathing again, whether you like it or not, until the head is raised in an attempt to get it above water. If you could voluntarily breathe while your head was still below water, that wouldn’t work too well.

Taking this into account, it probably isn’t even necessary to have the head below the legs to torture with water to the face, although it surely helps. Just having your head pretty low and being held down would, I predict, suffice.